My Black Booty

It's no secret. Those who know me are well aware that I have the booty of a black girl. It’s been an issue my whole life. People know it – and people just accept it for what it is. Don't get me wrong - having a black booty is not a bad thing. If you are black. I am not.

Yesterday I was feeling a little brave and decided to try on some blue jeans. For me, this is almost as traumatic as swimsuit shopping (just without the screaming.) 1 out of 25 pair might fit. Most of the time, I just leave the dressing room empty handed and head for the shoe section where everything fits.

None the less, as I stand there staring at myself in the dressing room mirror, I start to sing the song "Black Betty." Then it dawned on me how appropriate that song would be if I just changed the words a bit. So here goes....

My version of "Black Booty."

Whoa, black booty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black booty (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty had two childs (bam-ba-lam)
The damn thing's gone wide (bam-ba-lam)

I said oh, black booty (bam-ba-lam)
You really make me sigh (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty like french fries (bam-ba-lam)
You know that's no lie (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty up another size (bam-ba-lam)

I said why, black booty (bam-ba-lam)
Must you always get bigger (bam-ba-lam)
Why do you like Hilfiger (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty's so rock steady (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty don't like tready (bam-ba-lam) (tready is short for treadmill)

I ain't from Birmingham (bam-ba-lam)
Way down in alabam' (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty shakes her thing (bam-ba-lam)
Black booty makes me sing (bam-ba-lam)

Whoa, black booty (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, black booty (bam-ba-lam)