The Skinny Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
Which pair of jeans make my butt look small?
The mirror says "all of them", but this can't be true.
I wear a size 6, but now I'm a 2????

If you are female, you will no doubt fall victim to the "skinny mirror." It is a nasty department store conspiracy that turns fugly into fabulous in seconds. Department store owners aren't stupid. They install mirrors in the dressing rooms that make even the chunkiest of butts look two sizes smaller.... and a few inches taller. We're taken to an instant paradise as soon as we walk through the dressing room door. We take one look into that mirror and stand before a goddess. The sky opens up, the birds start singing, the fragrance of lilacs penetrate the air. All is peaceful in the world. Next thing we know - we're floating on the wings of our credit cards to the cash register. Three shopping bags later, we're off to Starbucks for a full blown latte with the whip. Why not? We're skinny - the mirror said so!

The skinny mirror and I have a love/hate relationship. Love the skinny mirror when I'm in the store and everything I try on looks fab. Hate the skinny mirror when I get home and everything I just bought looks flab. Nothing is more frustrating than getting your new fantastic outfit home, taking it out of the bag and gently caressing it as if it were your newborn baby, carefully trying it on to see if it matches the shoes you bought one week earlier.. then WHAM! It doesn't fit! Your mirror at home reaches out and slaps you right across the face. Your mirror at home doesn't lie. She is bent over laughing at your fat ass saying "Idiot! What the heck were you thinking! You haven't worn that size in years!" Reality sets in. You've become a victim of a vicious scheme, and have had a come to Jesus meeting with your credit card bill all at the same time.